Thursday, November 5, 2009

Growing closer together

What I have to say I love about building bonds, is that it is such a family effort.  I have loved seeing Kevin in this new role of Fatherhood.  With the boys he is their playmate, and often their ringleader lol, which is wonderful but this is different, he needs to be the 'heavy' so to speak with her as to not endanger our bonding process.  She responds so well to his direction and guidance, still loving him to pieces when he has to tell her no (as in when she wants the camera, or is trying to whack us with a toy -- this is how she plays - big SMILE ON her face, would have loved to see this in action with all the other kids in the foster home.. may explain the plethora of scares she has!!)  He is so sweet and gentle, reaching out to hold my hand when she refuses, to hug and kiss me when she pulls away, and to include me when she wants to leave me out.  He thinks of it all before I do, and wants to much to see us forge a bond.  Now I know why we've lasted 25 years together -- cuz he's just awesome!  And I'm the luckiest chick in the universe (oh yeah and he's the cutest thing too!!)  *no kevin did not write this lol

Yesterday was a really great day - better than what I anticipated when I woke at 4 a.m. knowing we had a fill a whole day so that it wouldn't drag on and on!!  We had that wonderful bath in the morning, then breakfast - she eats pancakes and fruit, and barely can see over the table (no booster seats here) and she's attempting a fork- but was elated when we showed her it was ok to us her fingers lol!!  Then we took a walk to a shopping area (pictures are up on picassa)... that was an experience, was good to see her city better.  Was strange the things you don't see in Wuhan... African Americans, pregnant women, Caucasians (we literally saw NONE on our walk today), closed doors on shops and stores, airplanes in the sky (could be the smog).  What you do see in Wuhan... kids being held by their moms off the sides of benches split pants wide open peeing on the sidewalk, men pushes LARGE wooden carts on the sidewalk, next to Mercedes parked on the sidewalk - oh and you see CARS DRIVING on sidewalks!

Next we came back for a light snack, and FengHua took a nearly 3 hour nap -- we made sure she had on a pull up this time!!  **In case neither of us mentioned she peed the bed the day before during her nap.. opps!   After the nap, more snack (no wonder I'm not losing the weight I had anticipated over here!!) ... her Foster mother sent her with yummy chinese snacks that have been a godsend in keeping her happy. We got her milk from walmart on our first day ... its in little juice-type containers perfect size for her and NO refridgeration required!!   Then over to the park again across the street.  The last time we went, she held my hand the whole time,usually if Kevin puts her hand in mine she will hold it.  But after our trek in the city where she was held by Kevin the whole time, she was not giving in this time.  She stomps her little foot, puts her hand behind her back, and tries to get Kevin to pick her up.  We were steadfast in not giving in to having Kevin pick her up.  I just felt in my heart that if we did, it would be a big blow to our bonding.  We compromised, she had to walk but just holding daddy's hand, I held daddy's hand too... it made us actually laugh to see her look at me with a little scrunched up face as to say, hmmm thats not what was suppose to happen lol.  Eventually I had a brainstorm to put her on my shoulders, without making eye contact, I had Kevin lift her up there  - there is one picture of her initial reaction (crying), but she calmed right down, I think she liked being eye level wiht Daddy. I kept her up there for a good mile or so - there is another picture of Mommy's small victory (not crying) just a few moments later!! 

When we got back, we had dinner, she had penne and butter (I wanted to be sure she was ready for mom's gourmet cooking when we got home lol).  After dinner, I went to toilet her, and change her into PJs, since she was already 1/2 undressed after going pee, I thought we'd just get on jammies in the bathroom.  She lifted her arms for her shirt, and went RIGHT back to the tub!! YEAH... another bonding bath.  This one was an hour long, and since they are silent, its very peaceful ... I just prayed the Hail Mary over and over in my head, as we played.  I had a cup and I would just run the water softly over her hands and toes, she LOVED that, lifting one foot then the other, even spreading apart her toes to get the water in between.

Then at the end of the day, the 3 of us cuddled in bed,we said our rosary, with the beads dangling over her head, she clutched the crucifix examining it closely.  The pointed it to me, and I kissed it, then daddy, who did the same, we repeated this game for a while, and then she too kissed it, followed right by an attempt to bite it lol. It was a funny moment, which turned into a night of giggles,and games and getting her very riled up before bed lol. This time it was ME doing it, and Kevin saying, Honey, she won't go to sleep, don't you think you should stop that now.  NAH... it was way too much fun, maybe I'll be more sympathetic to him next time he's wrestling with boys at bedtime!


  1. Kendyll always LOVED Ms. Allison's gourmet cooking!!!!!!

  2. Small steps! God is forming the bonds just the way He intended... and they will be so strong not even Boyfriends will tear them apart!
    All my love and prayers