Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Every hour brings something new

I know I already blogged for today but... so much has happened since that blog, I have to send an addendum!!   Ok, so when I last wrote hubby and daughter were fast asleep  - she was laying on his chest/belly , cuddled up and out cold!! both were snoring, was actually quite cute.  I love that she makes these little noises - squeaks, sighs, and apparently light snoring.  That may be due to this little cold - which GOOD NEWS, no fever since this morning, no meds since 7 a..m.!!  Yeah!! 

So when she woke up, I tried to join the waking party - oh and that's when things fell apart -- but happily only temporarily it was the valley that has brought us to this next mountaintop!  This is such a rollercoaster - and boy do I dislike rollercoasters!  But there is much fun in the ride if you just sit back and let it move you where you are to go and not fight against it.   Even though my rational mind knows - its not me, its all a big transition, she will grow to love me, yadda yadda, at the moment, when you are sleep deprived, and thousands miles away from your other children (esp. the one who can't let you out of HIS sight without crying lol) your heart breaks.  Kevin at that moment had to go to the bathroom, she immediately collapsed into loud wails and lots of tears.  Yesterday, I would put out my arms and in his absence she'd run to me - still crying but at least she'd allow me to calm her.  NOT this time, which hurt even more , I picked her up anyway, determined that the body contact and my 'calm' manner would win her over. Yeah, NOT SO much!!  It escalated (it was a loooong pee lol) ... and I eventually had to give in and put her down - still very upset.  Kevin came out and she ran to him, and well, to be quite honest all those emotions I had struggling with for the last 24 hours came RUSHING out!! I left the room for a walk to pray, and bring myself back to reality - no one said this would be easy!  The halls are super short, so walking it off wasn't really working.   I came in, and collapsed at our desk - what if this never changes , what if whatever makes her so dislike woman I am never able to overcome (thank you so much Joanne for your words of wisdom -- they were ringing through my head as I prayed for guidance).

Kevin got a brainstorm and came over to comfort me, carrying her, he hugged me and rubbed my back.  That very moment was the beginning of what became an absolutely REMARKABLE turn of events over the next 4+ hours!!  Kevin said down on the bed, and called me over to them, he put his arm around me, and kissed my check.  Faith tried to swat me off, but he gently but firmly told her no, and stroked my arm gently , so watched him and copied him.  He suggested I get the colorworks, since we seem to share that common ground.  I layed across the bed on my belly, like a little kid and began to color, I offered her a marker, and her tears lessened, and she joined in - and we sat quietly scribbling away sharing markers, she likes to put on and take off the covers.  She also loves GRABBING all of them and hoarding them - a very common behavior of orphans. 

We decided at that time to give her a bath together - that was another turning point.  Kevin just sat, and I did all the playing with her, we filled a cup with toys and water, and then dumped them from way up high.  She watched me carefully, then copied everything I did. She laughed and splashed, and slipped and slided lol and though that gave me mild heart failures, she thought it was the funniest thing ever!!  We then filled the cup with clean water and she poured it over her head -- we had to repeat this several times.  The early tension and fears were melting away with every pour we made together!  I praised Jesus aloud for bringing us this light in our darkness - my heart leapt as I felt more hope then ever before!!

Our next breakthrough came just moments later, when we had dried her off, put pigtails in her hair (pictures to be posted it was what I had dreamt of doing to her hair since we started the adoption process of a little Chinese girl!!), and put on her ariel pjs.  She got angry with me, not exactly sure what I was doing, for the last 2 days it was often just how I looked at her, and RAN to daddy -- another light went off, but this time it was an idea!  I remembered the papers we received about Faith's foster life.  There was a line that ran, whenever mother disciplines or if she does not like what mother wants, she cries and runs to daddy (foster daddy) and HE PICKS HER UP!  oh my gosh... bells , whistles, sirens!! THAT'S IT!!  She was just repeating the behavior pattern her foster parents had established!!  well my dear friends (and family)... I AM over the moon to report that since this little discovery EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED!! IN fact... just a few moments ago I had to stop mid-blog because my daughter came to me to pull me to window, to pick her up , and then dragged me down to the ground to play!! YUP -- she likes me too now, she really does.

I will go into more detail in the next blog -- as I'm obviously going to take full advantage of her new found acceptance of me!!  Plus we are going to skype with the boys in just 10 minutes.  My lesson today - though to pinpoint one impossible, or to decipher God's plan ridiculous feels like the one He has given me all along -- TRUST IN THE LORD with all your heart, LEAN not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in all your ways and HE will make straight your path (Prov. 3:5-6)... that goes really hand and hand with another scripture from Isaiah  -- God's ways ARE NOT our ways!! amen to that ... OH wait... before I GO the other really big news was...

SHE SIGNED today!!  Her first sign was the applause sign - when the deaf want to cheer or applaud the shake their hands in open palms on either side of their heads... then she signed kiss.  YES Kevin and I both cried!! LOL :))))  We are working on Mom, Dad, and Faith, Potty (which I thought for sure would be her first sign!!), amongst others!!  I was so positive after I saw how much she liked to mimic, that it would not take her any time to start signing.  It's amazing as it appears she really has no word - meaning connections at all!!  Although she is almost 4, after just 2 days with her, Kevin and I see her truly as a 2 year old -- size, behavior and development... oh JUST potty trained... God's plans are good , no doubt!!


  1. The Peterson'sNovember 3, 2009 at 9:55 AM

    Wow! What a roller coaster of emotions. Thank God for the breakthrough - & thank God for giving the 2 of you so much strength. I didn't realize when I was chatting with you last night that I wasn't up to date with the blog. Have you considered writing/publishing a book about this journey? Katelyn & I are reading this & we are feeling the emotions you are writing about. Amazing! Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us.

  2. I am so proud of you both for embarking on a journey that you knew would be filled with ups and downs. It is an emotional roller coaster, especially when you adopt an older child who has a history and a defined personality who has habits that you don't know about. She has lived almost 4 years without you ... you have a lot of catching up. It's not like your bio kids whom you watched grow up and know their moods, likes and dislikes. You are learning everything for the first time, and there is alot to learn. Remember this is a long process and baby steps are key. I'm so glad she is already showing signs of trust and love. That's what it is all about ... building those things ... one block at a time. Throw out any expectations and take one day at a time. She is precious!!! Your journey is bringing back so many memories! And it reminds me how Ty has transformed ... it's amazing! Faith has no idea yet how her life just changed. She is a blessed little girl. Does your hotel have a pool? That is a great bonding experience, and a way to make time go by. LOVE reading your posts, but want to see more pictures!! Love you guys!

  3. I know this an emotional roller coaster but you just need to trust in God. It is going to be a long process and babysteps are key. You are building a new life together. Both your lives and Faith's life are changing dramatically and forever. It will take much precious time to build a new life, to develop trust and security, and to love. And remember, for an adopted child who was just taken away from the only caretakers she has ever known, you can not give too many hugs, or pick her up too much, or give her too much love. Follow Faith's lead and continue to surrender this process to God. We are praying for you and sending positive energy and lots of love your way! You are so blessed!

  4. As Joy said, you guys are bringing back many memories for us. It is awesome being able to experience this with you. Keep documenting and taking pictures. You will look back on them many times and you will be amazed at how quickly you forget the things you've captured.

    As you are experiencing, not everything will go according to your plans or dreams, but I assure you that as you pour out the love of Jesus Christ to this little girl, she will eventually return it. It is a process of Trust and Obedience which culminates in Love and Affection. It is no different then our relationship with God when we were adopted into his family.

    Enjoy your time there, it seems long while you are going through it, but when you look back, you realize how quickly it passes.

    We are praying for all three of you.

  5. I had no doubt that you would figure things out! Keep listening to all your training, books you've read and God and everything will turn out great. You and Kevin are a great team and soon the boys will be helping out too.

  6. Kevin and Allison, I've had goosebumps this whole time I'm reading your blog. Mark and I are truly happy for you all. I can't imagine the joy you must have in finally holding your daughter...the possibility makes me somewhat giddy for you! Our prayers are with you for a safe trip home and for your boys as they await their sister. When things get challenging, you only need to look up and ask the advice of the ultimate Parent Himself. I hear He's got some pretty good pointers!!! God bless you all and safe trip home!! Felly

  7. I love you guys! I feel such a part of your experience because of this blog. Thank you for allowing me to live your journey with you! I can NOT wait to show her that I can say "Hi Faith" in signs...(so Allison, get working on teaching her that! How embarassed would I be if she just looked at me confused after all that practice!) Still praying for you guys, keep the pics/updates coming, I LOVE reading them!