Monday, January 11, 2010

Birthday Girl

Just a quick post about Faith's first birthday with us.  It was actually rather uneventful.  We put her to bed at 8:30 , she was wiped out from a busy weekend, and I looked at Kevin and realized we never GAVE her our birthday gifts!!  We got home from an sleepover in time for her nap, then we woke her in time to head to Mass, then Ihop for a very late dinner, and home in time for bed again LOL.  So basically her 4th birthday was spent eating and sleeping, and a little God tossed in -- all of Mom's favorites!!

I am still having trouble coming to grips with this made up birthday, it really bugs me that the parents couldn't have at least stuck a note with her telling her birthday!  She just doesn't seem 4, or maybe it is hard to add another year to her age, when we've only known her for 2 months as a 3 year old!  Kevin jokes that it is not like we can just saw her in half and count the rings, someone else has suggested a dentist might better tell us her age from her teeth?  It is not like I need to know for any real reason except my own selfishness of not wanting her to grow up too fast, psychologically having a child go from 3 to 4 in just 2 months is difficult.  I have already had to catch myself numerous times expecting too much from her, now that she's 4 I hope I can control my feeble brain to not expect even more!!

So funny that the transition has been so seamless, your brain is tricked into forgetting she has NOT been with you her whole life.  That she has experienced a complete upheavel of her little life, that she will have many psychological struggles as she grows and develops.  That our love will get her through a great deal of the pain and loss, but we'll never be able to completely take it away.  These are the little things that you have to fight to keep from overtaking your thoughts -- the worries of what will be as the days, months and years progress.  Always trying to stay vigilant, and not complacent as to not miss signs that she needs help in something.  Alas, isn't this the struggle of all parents, biological and adoptive  -- balancing your own life's needs and responsiblity, with those of your children.  Thank goodness for prayers, "Cast all your worries on Him because HE cares about you," (1 peter 5:7) ... good to know Kevin and I have such an amazing parenting partner in this life!!

Quick update on Faith's progress -- we started back watching Sarah and Grace this week, they don't come very much but we had put off restarting to be sure Faith was ready to share Mommy and brothers. It was a perfect start back, she LOVES her 2 new friends!!  She played very well with them both, I love how they both are learning sign language ( I never feel over with the 13 month old signed PLEASE! when she wanted the toy Faith had - it was awesome!!)   Being so overly sentimental like I am, I find it so very cool, that one of my daughter's first friends, is the daughter of one of my very first friends!! 

Faith has been doing great sleeping in her own bed.  I am going to guess her bed in China was a mat on the floor, because quite a few times, she has grabbed a pillow from a couch (not just at our house) , and placed it on a small carpet or mat on the floor, and covered herself with a blanket, and signed 'Sleep'.   There are so many questions I wish I had asked the caretakers when I had them - but it wasn't her foster parents, so I really don't know how much of the information would have been actually about FengHua, and how much would have been what kids do in general.  I am sure, God is protecting my heart from not letting me know too much, it would probably just break my heart to know.  I already have to fit feeling guilty and sad that it took us 6 months to get her out of the country once we had been matched.  In more luicd moments I DO know that it was God's plan for our family to prepare all of us, for whatever reason, in making us wait all that time.  Most children are matched and home within 6 to 8 weeks of referral, we had to wait 24 weeks!!   I spent so much time before the Lord in Adoration during that time, and I know He was preparing us - I have pages and pages of journal entries that assure me of that!

So what else can I report about our princess - she has become a finicky eater, mostly because she can!  No longer worried about her next meal, she knows she gets fed about every 2 hours, and if she isnt' crazy about what is before her, there will be another offering varily soon.  She has a sign vocabulary of about 20 words now.  She is a total monkey, copying all we do -- which in some cases IS not very good! I knew  I should have secluded her from all the men in our house until I had her completely molded into all the proper girl ways of life!!  Especially for someone who thinks everything is a game lol, some days can be rather challenging!   I guess that is what makes us family - its not just my influence on her, but hers on me, and a great exchange of personalities life, working and loving together!!

Happy Birthday FengHua, thank you for continuing to enlighten us in the most amazing ways!