Every hour brings something new

I know I already blogged for today but... so much has happened since that blog, I have to send an addendum!!   Ok, so when I last wrote hubby and daughter were fast asleep  - she was laying on his chest/belly , cuddled up and out cold!! both were snoring, was actually quite cute.  I love that she makes these little noises - squeaks, sighs, and apparently light snoring.  That may be due to this little cold - which GOOD NEWS, no fever since this morning, no meds since 7 a..m.!!  Yeah!! 

So when she woke up, I tried to join the waking party - oh and that's when things fell apart -- but happily only temporarily it was the valley that has brought us to this next mountaintop!  This is such a rollercoaster - and boy do I dislike rollercoasters!  But there is much fun in the ride if you just sit back and let it move you where you are to go and not fight against it.   Even though my rational mind knows - its not me, its all a big transition, she will grow to love me, yadda yadda, at the moment, when you are sleep deprived, and thousands miles away from your other children (esp. the one who can't let you out of HIS sight without crying lol) your heart breaks.  Kevin at that moment had to go to the bathroom, she immediately collapsed into loud wails and lots of tears.  Yesterday, I would put out my arms and in his absence she'd run to me - still crying but at least she'd allow me to calm her.  NOT this time, which hurt even more , I picked her up anyway, determined that the body contact and my 'calm' manner would win her over. Yeah, NOT SO much!!  It escalated (it was a loooong pee lol) ... and I eventually had to give in and put her down - still very upset.  Kevin came out and she ran to him, and well, to be quite honest all those emotions I had struggling with for the last 24 hours came RUSHING out!! I left the room for a walk to pray, and bring myself back to reality - no one said this would be easy!  The halls are super short, so walking it off wasn't really working.   I came in, and collapsed at our desk - what if this never changes , what if whatever makes her so dislike woman I am never able to overcome (thank you so much Joanne for your words of wisdom -- they were ringing through my head as I prayed for guidance).

Kevin got a brainstorm and came over to comfort me, carrying her, he hugged me and rubbed my back.  That very moment was the beginning of what became an absolutely REMARKABLE turn of events over the next 4+ hours!!  Kevin said down on the bed, and called me over to them, he put his arm around me, and kissed my check.  Faith tried to swat me off, but he gently but firmly told her no, and stroked my arm gently , so watched him and copied him.  He suggested I get the colorworks, since we seem to share that common ground.  I layed across the bed on my belly, like a little kid and began to color, I offered her a marker, and her tears lessened, and she joined in - and we sat quietly scribbling away sharing markers, she likes to put on and take off the covers.  She also loves GRABBING all of them and hoarding them - a very common behavior of orphans. 

We decided at that time to give her a bath together - that was another turning point.  Kevin just sat, and I did all the playing with her, we filled a cup with toys and water, and then dumped them from way up high.  She watched me carefully, then copied everything I did. She laughed and splashed, and slipped and slided lol and though that gave me mild heart failures, she thought it was the funniest thing ever!!  We then filled the cup with clean water and she poured it over her head -- we had to repeat this several times.  The early tension and fears were melting away with every pour we made together!  I praised Jesus aloud for bringing us this light in our darkness - my heart leapt as I felt more hope then ever before!!

Our next breakthrough came just moments later, when we had dried her off, put pigtails in her hair (pictures to be posted it was what I had dreamt of doing to her hair since we started the adoption process of a little Chinese girl!!), and put on her ariel pjs.  She got angry with me, not exactly sure what I was doing, for the last 2 days it was often just how I looked at her, and RAN to daddy -- another light went off, but this time it was an idea!  I remembered the papers we received about Faith's foster life.  There was a line that ran, whenever mother disciplines or if she does not like what mother wants, she cries and runs to daddy (foster daddy) and HE PICKS HER UP!  oh my gosh... bells , whistles, sirens!! THAT'S IT!!  She was just repeating the behavior pattern her foster parents had established!!  well my dear friends (and family)... I AM over the moon to report that since this little discovery EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED!! IN fact... just a few moments ago I had to stop mid-blog because my daughter came to me to pull me to window, to pick her up , and then dragged me down to the ground to play!! YUP -- she likes me too now, she really does.

I will go into more detail in the next blog -- as I'm obviously going to take full advantage of her new found acceptance of me!!  Plus we are going to skype with the boys in just 10 minutes.  My lesson today - though to pinpoint one impossible, or to decipher God's plan ridiculous feels like the one He has given me all along -- TRUST IN THE LORD with all your heart, LEAN not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in all your ways and HE will make straight your path (Prov. 3:5-6)... that goes really hand and hand with another scripture from Isaiah  -- God's ways ARE NOT our ways!! amen to that ... OH wait... before I GO the other really big news was...

SHE SIGNED today!!  Her first sign was the applause sign - when the deaf want to cheer or applaud the shake their hands in open palms on either side of their heads... then she signed kiss.  YES Kevin and I both cried!! LOL :))))  We are working on Mom, Dad, and Faith, Potty (which I thought for sure would be her first sign!!), amongst others!!  I was so positive after I saw how much she liked to mimic, that it would not take her any time to start signing.  It's amazing as it appears she really has no word - meaning connections at all!!  Although she is almost 4, after just 2 days with her, Kevin and I see her truly as a 2 year old -- size, behavior and development... oh JUST potty trained... God's plans are good , no doubt!!