Communication

This afternoon while Faith and I enjoyed a quiet lunch together, I was struck by just how quiet life can be sometimes.  The soft ticking of the clock and hum of the refridgerator was all I heard, while I know her lunch was even quieter.   As I look at her precious little face, I am struck that we are definitely not signing to her as often as we should - limiting it to direct needs or commands.  As I had just finished reciting the prayer before meals, I try to sign it now with her, but her random signing back to me shows that while making progress memorizing signs, the meanings are still lost to her.  

We've seen a lot of this, just a random barrage of signs when she is trying to convey something to us - she signs Faith, please, bed, finished, daddy, potty, all in a string, hoping that one of these silly things people keep doing in her face with their hands will get them to jump up and help her with whatever the present need is.  Kevin complained, rightly so yesterday, that all we seem to be saying to her lately is "No".  Although  I wholeheartedly agree and would love to be more positive in my communications especially around things that are dangerous, I am finding it much easier to tell someone NO to what they are doing, then explaining BEFORE they do it, that it isn't something they can do!  Think that sentence is confusing, try being a non-english speaking 3 year old trying to explore your environment with overprotective English-speaking, hearing parents who are constantly shadowing you and redirecting you from all that looks fun.  We tell her yes, but it seems those things are not quite as intriguing as the 'no' areas -- stove, buttons on the dishwasher, my camera, the portable phones that get left all around the house, outlets, stairs, toilets... the typical toddler stuff of interest.

The area of real frustration for me however is in communicating things of deeper meaning.  For instance, today I was really sad about something (not that I would discuss the problem with a 3 year old) but what I would have loved to have shared, was how I turned to the bible for guidance, and opened right to a passage that answered me in the exact way I needed.  Let me note it was NOT what I wanted God to say, I was looking for a "yeah don't sweat it, you can ignore it" but what I got was "you can do this with my help, it is not for you to judge but to do according to my Will".   Augh, I hate those answers, those are the ones that make us more like God, and less like our pitiful human selves, and although the grow us spiritually always come with a little discomfort or sacrafice on our part -- but alas I digress.   I wanted to share what an amazing and loving Father in Heaven we have, and that it had made Mommy' sad change to glad. I have to admit I did sign it all to her, the best I could, and received back a barrage of random signs -- cute but didn't really instill confidence that I am getting through.

The next moment I was back to the 'nos'  -- or the 'don'ts' in this case.  Gently trying to teach that we don't stick the opposite end of the spoon in our eyes, nose or mouth.  That napkins are for wiping our hands and mouths, not the cheesy spoon.  That we need to chew the food in our mouth, not suck on it like chewing tobacco ( a new habit we are perplexed by but working through as we realize these are all new textures and tastes).   The time will come when I can share with her the wonder of the snow on the ground, the beating of my heart for her and for my Lord, and can explain all the yesses in the world!

Although this all saddens me, but I am quickly reminded its only been 6 weeks, that time will prove this all different, just as it did with our connecting back in China.  I pray that her language acquisition comes as quickly as her love acquisition did !!