Butterflies

Throughout the blogs you've probably seen references to butterflies, and wondered if there was a back story to that. Well , just so happens there is an amazing one!!  I've been meaning to share it all trip.  So as FengHua naps, and Kevin returns the stroller a local merchant let us borrow, as well as fetch my clean FOLDED into the smallest pile of clothes you've ever seen laundry, I will share.

We received a call on April 30, 2009, asking how serious were we about accepting a referral for a deaf child.  My heart skipped a beat, as I have always known, that one day I  would have a deaf daughter.  So much so that over a year ago, long before we were matched with a child I began sign language classes.   These classes are a community type, run by this wonderful woman Marianne, who not only teaches us signing, but more importantly shares with us deaf culture.  A story that stayed with me, was that drivers who are deaf in Australia, must place a special butterfly sticker on their car window to alert police and other drivers, that behind the wheel is a hearing impaired driver.  Immediately one of the kids in the class asked, "why a butterfly?'  She explained that butterflies are deaf - and that they are often used as symbols for the deaf. 

Now flash forward to July -- we had been told on April 30th, when we accepted the referral to pursue being Wu Feng Hua's parents that we'd be traveling in 6 to 8 weeks.  We knew that delays would be possible especially because we had yet to be approved by the Chinese government to adopt, we were in a long que of parents waiting to have their files reviewed.  The Waiting Child list (which has older and special needs children) is separate, and if a match is made you are taken out of line, and in essense cut the others waiting for healthy baby girls.  I don't like that analogy of line cutting, but its how it works, I didn't design it, I'm just subject to it.  Now it was mid-July, and we received a call that delays would push our trip to September! I was devastated, I had applied for a child no OLDER than 18 months, and had accepted the 3 year old  with intrepidations. **oh side note -- right BEFORE we got the call for Faith,  God had revealed to me during my prayer time to be prepared for an older child, it was such a strong feeling, I remember crying that night, saying God please NO, I've have missed so much of her life at 3, I wanted a baby to share as many memories as I could.  He gently calmed my worries, helping me to see, that all the time we have will be filled with firsts and it was His perfect plan **

This particular day in July, I was in Faith's bedroom, praying on her floor under the window.  I was thinking that the 3 year old, would now be an almost 4 year old by time we were allowed to bring her home.  She would have been in the same foster home for 3 years, and would be so attached to them, she'd be so scared and angry with us for taking her away.  Also on my heart was that no one could explain to her what was happening, lacking language to communicate such a complicated thought.  I began to pray the rosary, to meditate on these things, and Jesus, and to hand over concerns as I often do.   It happened to be a Sunday, which is the day to recite the Glorious mysteries.   The first mystery's fruit was Faith... hmmm I thought, pretty reassuring godcidence!  Next, came Hope , something I had just prayed for the day before.  Third fruit, Love of God ... without that none of what we were being asked to do would make sense, would even be possible.  I finished with the 5th mystery, of which the fruit is Trust in Mary's Intercession ... at that very moment, I heard a strange noise outside the window,  the direction was difficult to decipher, and its nothing I'd eer heard before.  I was drawn to look out, and there in the backyard was the BIGGEST Butterfly I had ever seen in my entire life!! 

My heart filled with a peace that surpasses all understanding, God wasn't telling me the journey was going to change, or that it would be easy, but that He'd be with me, and this butterfly, with no hearing was such a sign of hope, faith and love.  The next day, I saw another butterfly, the day after that another, not this time a live one, but a picture of one.  From that July afternoon forward... EVERY SINGLE day until we met Faith, I have seen a butterfly!  They've been painted on the face of my friend's beautiful adopted daughter's face, they've been on the doctor's wall when I was waiting for my flu shot praying we'd be healthy on this trip, they've been on clothes, and many cards at my shower, they've been around just as I've most needed them, or as surprises when I least expected them.

We continue to see them now, even after His promise of uniting us has been fulfilled.  On the way to the American Consulate I prayed for a sign that we'd be able to complete the paperwork with the copy of the passport, and take our oath with the group - and there it was flying by the window.  I was very filled with anxiety the day we went to the temple and the garden, concerned we'd not be able to leave with the group, that Faith's cough would be something more sinister than air pollution, and that perhaps I was not the best choice as Faith's mom (the enemy was hard at work on me that day!!)... as we boarded the bus, I once again asked my loving Father to help me see His love in the form of a butterfly -- they were EVERYWHERE!!  We saw one almost immediately leaving the hotel, and the flittered about the bus in the middle of this big busy city!! It was amazing, we even stopped at a red light, and the merchant right below my window had a big butterfly baby toy recorder hanging from his awning!  The garden was filled with butterflies, including little yellow ones, that I had seen around town on another particularly tough day when God had sent a small winged messenger of hope to me!

May you all think of God's protection and love, whenever you behold the delicate and graceful beauty of His creation, the butterfly!