Saturday morning ponderings

It's only been almost ten months since adding Faith to our lives.  It's been a long strange trip where she has learned as much about us as we have learned about her.  God continues to guide this long strange trip but I find myself putting my trust in Him less and less each day and that isn't good.  I need to lean on His strength like I did in the beginning, like I did as I took my seat on that plane to China!

We have found out that she is deaf due to a genetic anomaly so she has indeed been deaf from birth.  She had a checkup recently and her Dr. said that she is indeed progressing as far as walking but not there yet.  There is also a possibility of autism.  If she were autistic she would be considered highly functional but it's something we will deal with when we know for sure.  It's tough to just watch her and analyze all this since she was unable to communicate without just yelling and hitting until she was four and Allison began to teach her sign language.

Faith is learning a LOT of words.  She still won't look at us long enough for sentences but that's slowly progressing as well.  Allison is done choir so she sits with us at Mass know and signs things to Faith when she can get her attention.  We aren't sure the exact number of words but she knows but it's over 100!  When we go on walks with her she will sign rabbit when she sees one.  She tells us to sit down all the time.  Potty was one she learned in China, she can tell us when she's taking a dump now as well so we don't have to smell for it (TMI???).  She can sign play, bath, stop, now and many others.  She understands a lot more of what we sign to her than she can sign back.  I still need to teach her "get daddy a beer".

The town has installed our signs as well around the house.  They actually put three of them up!  One at the front of the house lot and two as you approach the house from each street.  Not sure it's helping as cars still fly past here.  I should tell the Raynham P.D. that they can park in my driveway and have a ticketing field day, they could nab speeders as well as folks who don't stop at the two way stop sign at the end of the roads.

Faith still loves our trips we take to either the beach or the canal for a bike ride on Monday nights.  The beach is a bit much for me however, she's a tough one to chase around and you can't yell at her to stop when she is running off on you so I prefer canal bike rides where I can lock her in the seat behind me and know where she is.  We had to take a break from them a couple of Monday's due to the crazy hot weather we had in July, the hottest on record, hope August is at least reasonable!

Today we are off to see some relatives from Allison's dad's side of the family.  Adrionna is going to be rededicated for her relatives in Tiverton RI so we have to head down there at 9am.  Faith will get to meet some more new relatives!

Well that's enough ramblings for early morning, last day of July 2010.....KG

CAWLI Cousin's Reunion

We traveled down to Mystic CT on Saturday July 18th for our first CAWLI Cousin's reunion!

We met up with four other families who were with us in China.  It was great to see some of the other families that we traveled with and spend a day with them at Harkness Memorial Park in Waterford CT.  It was a hot one but everyone had a blast and the kids got along great!  Faith seemed to really enjoy seeing Olivia again.

The fun event of the day was wagon trains!  John Anderew (in the blue wagon) loved pulling everyone and anyone in the wagons!  Faith got a lot of free rides!

The park was awesome!  Lot's of quiet roads going through it, right on the Long Island sound (no swimming) so we could wade into the waters.  It was an awesome day!

We stayed in Mystic that night and had an interesting stay at the Ramada Mystic.  The sign we were welcomed with should have been a tip that not all was in order there.

We got there and before we went over to Mary and Jay and Olivia's house we had to check in and clean up and stuff.  Allison was trying to catch the weather and as I walked by the TV it made an interesting noise and went off.  Ian, Adam and myself were just going to go to the pool when Ian yelled "The TV is SMOKING".  It was indeed!  I unplugged it and Allison called room service.  Long story short, Ian, Adam and I went to the pool anyway and when we got back we had to switch rooms.  Then off to Mary, Jay's and Olivia's and for dinner we had:

That's Mystic Pizza from the movie.  Much like Cheers in Boston looks nothing like Cheers from TV, Mystic Pizza is very different from the movie.  Julia Roberts doesn't even work there.  

We stayed the night at hotel "almost burned down" and went to Mass at St. Patrick's church in Mystic.  A nice little church that had Central Air so that was a bonus!  After that we spent the day at a playground and then an afternoon stroll around Mystic.  We got to see the drawbridge in action so that was cool as well!

Special thanks to Jay and Mary for organizing this, we hope to make it a yearly thing now!  

All the photo's can be seen here: http://picasaweb.google.com/kpgingras/2010CAWLICousin#

Summer 2010

Well the summer of 2010 has been going GREAT!  Faith is one of us indeed, she can cause trouble when she wants to be we love her as much as we love Ian and Adam.  God has brought this joy into our lives and we couldn't have asked for it to be better!

Here is a rare shot of all three kids together...

Faith loves our beach trips as you can see above.  She loves pretty much everything that has to do with water!  Also, one of her favorite activities after our trips to Scusset is  a stop at DQ for some ice cream, Faith LOVES ice cream.  Did I stress that enough - LOVES ice cream! 

She also really enjoys all of our friends pools!

We even went out and got ourselves a little redneck pool that we can hang out in.  Faith loves it (so does AJ, Ian - not so much).  It's small, 8' diameter and only about 3' deep but it's good enough.  Faith loves to dive under water and jump around in it, she's the only one small enough to do that stuff!  I just love relaxing in it with the kids!

Been a good summer so far, lots of neat trips to Lexington and Concord and Plymouth and the Zoo.  In a couple of weeks we will head to Mary and Jay's and Olivia's in Mystic CT to have a kind of reunion.  Very much looking forward to seeing all the China folks again!

PEACE!  KG.

Fathers Day 2010

Well it's my first Father's Day with Faith, what a great addition to a Father's Day to Ian and Adam. 

I love the way Ian and Adam are with her, they make great big brothers.  Faith is already learning sign language faster than me, I knew that wouldn't be long!  She is so comfortable around us, loves mom more than me now but that's cool, she's with Allison more than me so that makes sense!

She is learning ASL now and doing it well but it's still frustrating sometimes when you just don't know the signs to communicate with her.  A lot of times she knows what we are signing but doesn't know how to sign back.  There are also times I have no clue what she wants.  We do manage but clearly patience, perseverance and prayers are going to help, I just need to remember to use them!!!

She's learning just to get things on her own as well.  She knows where the snack drawer is and likes to help herself to it a LOT!  We have to monitor that!  Same with the juice bags!

KG

Monday nights at Scusset Beach

http://picasaweb.google.com/kpgingras/ScussetMay172010#

We started our weekly treks to Scusset Beach on Monday May 17th with the Toste family.  May have been a bit early as it was indeed chilly there.  The water was painfully cold to stand in.  Faith understood not to go into the water.  Instead she played in the sand, ran in the sand and just had a generally great time.

Faith loves the beach and had a great time playing with her brothers Ian and Adam.  They dug a huge hole and jumped in it, played in it and just chilled in it. 

She has grown so much since we met her in early November and has developed a lot as well!  She knows a LOT of signs and her stability has improved also.  It's fun watching her run in the sand, she runs and cracks up while running.

There will be many more Scusset trips this summer, I promise!!

KG

Faith from summer?

http://picasaweb.google.com/kpgingras/ChinaCamera#

We sent off a care package prior to heading to China with some clothes, toys and a camera.  We sent it around June.  All we got back was a camera and we just stumbled across the photos so I uploaded them.

It's amazing to see how much she has grown and how much she has gained with respect to weight and height....

A bit of Americana for Faith

Photos of Herring Run and Plymouth

Well, we took Faith to see the Herring Run then off to Plymouth so she could see the Mayflower and the Big Old Rock.  Not sure she fully understood what it all meant but that's ok, we had fun! 

She isn't a sturdy walker on our grass.  You should have seen her on the beach in the soft sand!  A couple of face fulls of sand and even a bit in the mouth but all was well, she had a great time.  AJ had fun too dune jumping!

We definitely tired her out, she fell asleep on the way home.

Faith's Mommies

Last night, little Faith wasn't feeling so good.  She has a icky cough, and this awful inability to puke when she coughs. Yeah fun, but we're grateful we hadn't seen this since Wuhan.  I can handle throw up when there is no possible of me puking 24 hour later germs attached to them, but it is still unnerving especially when it happens in their sleep.  So I choice to sleep on the couch, easier and quicker access to her room if she needed me.  Around 2:30, she needed me.  I brought her out to the couch, laid her head on my chest, tucked her feet between my legs to stay warm (she has a tendency to cuddle up to me with little frog legs anyway - I wonder if this has anything to do with how the seem to bundle and carry the babies that I heard about from my friends who adopted infants?).   This is just one of the many questions about her life before us that I spend so much time pondering about.

Last night, as we lay there, her coughing, and me trying to help her relax so she can rest and get well, I started to again ponder her early life.  I thought about her birth mother, the woman who would have held her just as I was as little baby.  How long did it take them to realize she couldn't hear?  Who's decision was it to abandon her?  Was it the mother's, ashamed she'd brought not only a female to her husband, but one with a handicap?  Did she cry, as she placed her baby down in the parking lot of the hospital probably under the cover of night and run away?  What was Faith's birth name?  Did Faith cry in the dark, without the safety of an adult nearby?  How long did she lay there before she was found?  Abandoned - left without a trace of who you are, a history you will never recover.  Can any of us fathom what this feels like to the million of Chinese girls who will experience this reality every day?

Then came her second mommy, her foster mother.  I am sad I wasn't able to meet her, that I have no pictures of her to share with Faith.  That there is more history I will not be able to complete for Faith.  I know so very little of her 3 years with this family.  Were they loving or distant?  She is so loveable but I am never sure if that is because she never had it, or had so much of it that she continues to crave that closeness?  I did read that children who never make attachments are the ones that struggle to bond with their new families, so I can only assume from her quick bonding to us, that she was indeed loved and nurtured.   Her behavior, and the little information we do have, would suggest she was actually spoiled - given whatever she wanted maybe out of pity, or perhaps that little sly smile won over the men in her life (as it continues to do here!)  What were her days like, she doesn't easily engage with toys and books, she'd sit on my lap all day long and do nothing but cuddle if I allowed her too.  Yet, oddly the minute we get out in public she's a wild woman -- running around, wiggling out of my arms, and generally the complete opposite of how she is at home.  I know all parents say that, but this is more than the usual, there is definitely something to her behavior - I am starting to suspect it is a reaction to the overstimulation that being out of the house creates.  I am sure she was not out very much, and hasn't learned coping strategies with stimulus that comes from being out of the safety and familarity of your home. 

Which brings me to the final ponder of the day - as her third mommy, how safe do I make her feel?  How secure is she that there isn't a fourth mommy in her future.  I do pray, that isn't God's plan for her!!  Not just because I don't want to be dead or divorced lol, but I would be heartbroken to see her have to suffer any more traumatic transitions in her life.  She is truly remarkable that after all this, she continues to trust human beings to care for her, that she allows them to love her and returns it with such complete resolve that it is overwhelming.  I am always having to remind myself its only been 4 months, it does still feel like she's been here forever, the fact that we waited 6 MONTHS from the moment we got her picture to the day we met her, seems a blink of an eye now!!  I know now that there was no way they could have prepared her for our coming, I never received back my photoalbum I sent, so I doubt that she ever saw it.  That day , November 2, 2009, was the first time she'd ever laid eyes on us!!  She let us pick her up, hold her hand, and leave with her, without a tear.   God had to be whispering in her heart, these are the ones I had been telling you about ... these are parents I promised you, thank you my little dear for being so patient with My perfect plan, even when it must have seemed I'd forsaken you.

Faith is Baptised!

Here are the photos!

Like the covenant of Marriage that made Allison and I one family on October 10, 1989 and the covenant of adoption that we took on to make Faith a part of our family in November of 09, another covenant was professed and celebrated on February 21, 2010 - that of Faith's Baptism and becoming part of the family of Christ.

 

It was a truly God inspired day.  Faith even gave the thumbs up after her baptismal bath!  It was an awesome day and we would like to thank all those involved that made it so special, I can't name you all by name - there are too many of you but you know who you are!

Thank you all so much!

Educational Visitors

Some of the things God has brought to fruition in this journey have been beyond comprehension, today was another one of those moments.  Before, we brought Faith home, I received an email from a Professor of Deaf Studies at Holy Cross.  She was very interested in meeting Faith, and would like to make herself available to me for whatever help I needed in making sure she had whatever necessary to acquire language.  In addition, she has someone in her department that teaches ASL, that just happens to not only be deaf but also Chinese!  She even knows Chinese sign language -- which was cool to learn that Faith's thumbs up sign is actually Chinese Sign for good!!!  Neat!!  The connection had come from my cousin's sister in law -- you just NEVER know who God is going to use in His plans!! 
Well, after we got home, I emailed Professor Fask to update her on our return and progress thus far.  She invited Faith and I to Worcester, but being winter and so much going on trying to teach the boys, make all Faith's doctor's appointments and work my own part time jobs I was having a hard time finding time.  She emailed and asked if they could come to us!!  Wow!!  Some people's generosity of time and kindness of heart blows me away!  I obviously agreed, and today was our much anticipated visit.

It was so wonderful-  they were both amazing woman, a wealth of information for me.  The biggest question I have been struggling with is what language to teach Faith - ASL?  Signed English? Oral Language?  There are remarkably many options.  They were so good in explaining the benefits of a visual language (ASL) for deaf, especially someone with profound deafness like Faith.  She suggested eating dinner with voice off, and seeing how much Faith misses - as she tries to figure out who is speaking, what is being said, and if there are 2 people speaking at once,or if the conversation volleys quickly, as it can -- she is only getting bits and pieces.  The oneness on deciphering the conversation is all on her, which is pretty stinky for any one, but esp. a little kid.  I am even more determined to master ASL - and they have provided me a resource for Family Sign classes, where the person comes here and even better at no cost to us!!  God rocks!! and continues to be faithful to his promise to help us if we just agreed to trust Him and bring this beautiful child into our lives!!

They had so many amazing suggestions - finding a deaf babysitter, playgroups and socials for the deaf - that we as a family can attend, and I am grateful of the respect given to our home school lifestyle.  The bible says, God calls you to it, he will guide or lead you through it.  Although I have always read that in regards to troubles, I can see now that it can also relate to the missions He puts before us.  We are called to educate our children, for various reason, the homeschool model works well for us.  I can see that God will provide me the resources, and education I need to be the best provider of education for them -- and you can't beat all the time and attention this allows me to give her (and the boys).  It also makes for a closer bond between Ian and her, as 14 and 4 is a big age gap - if he was in school I find it hard to imagine that they'd share the love they do.  It is so sweet to see, and since he truly wants to be a sign language interpreter, I can't think of better education than 'hands' on :)))

So we march on, filled with names and numbers to follow up on, some times its overwhelming, and I feel guilty that maybe I'm not moving fast enough to put things into place, but then I think she's only been here 3 months.  To us, and to this new life she's still a baby, I certainly wouldn't stick a baby in school. We have time, we continue to implement what we can, love her to pieces, and stay diligent, and we know the rest will come ... God will make sure of that!